Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
