Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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