after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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