Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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