How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
