He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
