If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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