Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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