I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I don't deserve a penis
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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