Fuck appropriateness.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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