I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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