once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Randomize
