New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
