if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize