this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm bleeding and have questions
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
