Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
