ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
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