I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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