Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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