Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
