I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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