You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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