I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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