Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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