question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
