I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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