ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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