It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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