So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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