yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
