She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
