it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
This is my gift to your gina
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
