She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
