We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
