so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
