WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.