Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Ketchup is God's man juice
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks