You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.