I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
