Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
