we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
