i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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