He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
