All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I am one with the molecules
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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