He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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