he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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