Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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