I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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