yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
