So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
