I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize