Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
