She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
you win again, gameday.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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