My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
