it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
My breasts were aching with rage.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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