for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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