I don't think brook has ever known best
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
