OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
if i died would you start the facebook group?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
