My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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