Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I have tasted many bathrooms
as a side note pls kill me
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
