let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
fuck your aforementioned shoe
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
