Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
