The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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