You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
