so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She's like a pop up book from hell.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
