I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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