it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Watching her eat just hurts me
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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